


Giving In

by DktrAgonizer



Category: Heavy Rain
Genre: Drug Use, Emetophobia, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-10
Updated: 2015-05-10
Packaged: 2018-03-29 20:22:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3909391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DktrAgonizer/pseuds/DktrAgonizer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jayden's having some serious withdrawal symptoms, and Blake just happens to walk in on him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Giving In

His hands haven't stopped shaking for the past five minutes. He's chewed on his fingers for about the same amount of time, leaving the skin ragged and raw and bloody. It hurts, but he can't stop. It doesn't hurt half as bad as the pain in his head anyway.

At first he thinks the blood dripping onto his slacks are from his fingers, but there's too much. Jayden raises a shaking hand to feel under his nose and, yeah, there it is. One hand curls into a fist on his thigh, his nails digging deep into the fleshy part of his palm. His other hand moves down until his teeth start ripping at the flesh on his thumb again, because he can't make himself stop.

His glove lies on the table, part of it covering the glasses he'd had on not ten minutes ago. How long had he been using the ARI today? Too long, way too long. 

No. Not long enough. He still needs to find the origami killer, he still needs to track him down before Shaun Mars dies in the goddamn neverending rainwater.

When he gets up from the chair, he tilts dangerously to one side and bangs his hip against the desk. His head swims and his vision blurs and he has to catch himself on the desk before he falls to the ground. His fingers grip the desk hard and his arms shake as he leans against it, his breathing coming in quick, rapid gasps. He just needs to wait it out, if he just waits it out he'll be okay. He'll be -

A spasm runs through his body and, with it, a sharp ache just about everywhere. His arms give out and this time he does fall, banging his chin on the desk on the way down. He feels his teeth close on his tongue and his mouth fills with the coppery taste of blood.

It's all he can do not to reach into his pocket for the tripto. He knows it's there, he knows it'll stop all of this, but he can't let himself give in. He's had too much of it recently, as much as he's tried not to. Perhaps that's why the withdrawal was so bad today. And he's been using the ARI so much lately, what with this case and all...

Jayden's fingers twitch as he tries to push himself off the floor, but he's too dizzy and his whole being hurts too much and he eventually gives up. He curls himself into a tight ball, hoping the symptoms would stop soon. It couldn't be long now. If they would just let up, he'd be fine. He'd go home, take a cold shower, go over the notes in their physical form instead of what he had in the ARI -

He doesn't even realize there's somebody else in the room until a boot nudges him sharply in the back. "Christ, Norman, what the hell's up with you?" comes the gruff voice of none other than lieutenant Blake. Jayden tries once more to push himself up, to at least get into a goddamn sitting position instead of lying prone on the floor, but he can't. He gives up again with a frustrated, pained grunt and instead wraps his arms around himself.

There's an aggravated sigh from above him and then Blake's hands clamp around Jayden's shoulders. He's pulled unceremoniously into a sitting position, and the sudden motion brings bile to his throat. He swallows it back with a desperate quickness because like hell is he going to get sick over himself in front of Carter Blake. He can't seem to stop himself when his hand goes automatically to his pocket, searching for the vial of triptocaine. 

"What the hell is that?" Blake asks when Jayden pulls the drug out. Before he can raise it to his nose, Blake reaches down and snatches the vial from him. Jayden makes a feeble attempt to grab it back, but Blake holds it out of his reach and stares critically at it. "So you're a goddamn junkie, is that it? Haven't seen shit like this before."

"Please," Jayden gasps, wrapping his arms around himself again to try to hide how much he's shaking (but it doesn't work, not when his whole body is spasming in pain). "I-I need-"

"I'll bet you want your fix, don't you, _Norman_?" It looks like there are two Blakes sneering at him and Jayden screws his eyes shut to block out the disorienting double images. "Tell you what: Why don't I bring this to the captain and see what he thinks about this? I bet he wouldn't be happy to find out about your little problem."

No, no, he couldn't let him do that. Jayden reaches up for the desk and uses it to pull himself to his feet. He sways in place, but he keeps one hand gripping the edge of the desk so he doesn't completely lose his balance again. He tentatively opens his eyes and though his vision is still blurry, he's not seeing double. He holds out one hand to Blake pleadingly. "Please, give it back."

"Why should I?" Blake shakes the little glowing blue vial teasingly just out of Jayden's reach. "Way I see it, I'm doing you a _favor_ here. You should be thanking me."

Norman has to bite down on his lip to keep from cursing. There's the rational part of his brain agreeing with Blake; he really doesn't need the tripto, he _shouldn't_ need the tripto. He just needs to wait, to wait this out and it'll be fine and -

The bile rises in his throat again and it's so sudden that he can't hold it back. He hears Blake make a noise of disgust as Jayden's sick spills over the desk and drips onto his shoes. "You're a goddamn mess," Blake comments, and there's no tinge of sympathy in his voice.

"I'd be better if you gave me that goddamn thing back," Jayden growls in reply.

Blake snorts, letting his eyes travel up and down the FBI agent's trembling form. "Yeah, right."

Jayden wipes one sleeve across his mouth. "If you go to the captain," he says with deliberate slowness, "I'm going, too. And _I_ can tell him that you tried to beat a confession out of an innocent suspect."

"You mean the suspect you helped to escape?"

Jayden's fingers convulse, and the hand not gripping the desk curls itself into a fist. "You can't prove that."

"And _you_ can't prove that Mars is innocent."

"He doesn't _fit_ , Blake! None of it fits! Ethan Mars _is_ innocent and I can prove it if I can just..." His gaze wanders over to the ARI. He wants to grab it, to put it on and continue digging through the evidence, but he can see things dancing in the corners of his vision and he knows if he uses it any more today he will drop dead. That is, if he doesn't do so right here. Everything hurts so much worse than usual and he doesn't want to need it, but he _needs_ the goddamn tripto and if Blake won't let him have it, he'll just have to get it from him.

Blake's still waiting for the unfinished sentence to resume; he doesn't expect it when Jayden shoves himself away from the desk at him. Jayden stumbles directly into the other man, both hands reaching for the triptocaine. Blake backs into the wall behind him and the vial drops his grip. It falls to the ground before Jayden can catch it, but it mercifully doesn't break. Jayden's on his knees in moments, scrambling to pick it up and bring it to his nose.

The relief when he snorts it in is almost instantaneous. His body stops shaking and the aches fade and he can feel the blood trickling from his nose slow to a stop. He breathes it in again, slow and deep, and he can't help the laughter that bubbles from his chest.

"Tch." Blake's stepping carefully around him, disgust written plainly on his face, but Jayden doesn't care. The pain's gone and he feels _good_ and that's all he goddamn cares about right now. "Enjoy it while it lasts, Norman. You're not going to be on the case much longer."

The door slams behind him, leaving Jayden kneeling on the floor and laughing until his throat is hoarse.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Consider leaving a comment letting me know your thoughts; I'd love to read them!


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